改變世界就從良好的教養技巧做起 All of us need to practice healthy parental behaviors toward young children and teenagers by Judi Light Hopson, Emma H. Hopson, R.N. and Ted Ha
Have you noticed that relationships all over the world are full of tension? Many families are stressed to the breaking point. Governments, schools and workplaces all wrestle with "people problems."
The world cannot change for the better until families become more emotionally healthy. Mental health and balanced citizens create a sane society. There is no substitute for a mentally healthy parent figure in one's life. Individuals who raise mentally and emotionally healthy children make a major contribution to our world.
Good parents use these strategies:
* They listen to their children. We all feel valued when other people listen to us. Children cannot feel safe without adults taking time to listen.
* They treat children with respect. Respect means treating a child's feelings tenderly in every possible situation. They give out hugs. Children need the power of touch. Parents who dish out orders and never give hugs are raising emotionally deprived children.
* They discipline properly and consistently. Parents should take control and speak authoritatively when feel safe when parents take control.
(Four keys: listen, respect, love, discipline)
"I see patients in my counseling office who've never had true nurturing from anyone," says a psychologist we'll call Gerald. "They've never known the inner peace of feeling loved and cared for." Gerald says that children under the age of six cannot receive too much love and attention. He adds that discipline is part of that package, but he emphasizes that small children really need this kind of devotion. "Small children who've been hugged, kissed and loved on will grow up to be mentally stable adults," says Gerald.
He goes on to say that hungering for parenting can, for example, get teenage girls into trouble. If the father figure isn't there, a teenage girl will look for love in all the wrong places, Gerald emphasizes. "People in good marriages try hard to nurture each other," says Gerald. "But, if you're married to someone who never got tenderness and hugs, they don't feel comfortable giving that nurturing to you."
Adults who've lived with kindness and respect coming from their parents are the luckiest people on earth. That's not to say they don't feel upset, stressed out or depressed at times. But, those who've been nurtured have the resiliency to bounce back from most problems. It's tough to simulate this kind of nurturing once you're grown. But it can be done.
Gary Smalley, the nationally known relationship expert and author, believes that adults can form "small groups" to kind of "parent" each other. This can be a spiritually based group, or a small group can be caring friends who desire to open up about their lives.
They help each other grow and heal and vow to "be there" for each other. "I'm 65 now," says a woman we'll call Betty. "My parents are gone and my children are scattered around the country. I was depressed for three years before I decided to form a small group. We kind of parent each other." Betty continues, "We meet twice a month to share problems and help each other figure out what to do. We simply encourage each other in a thousand ways."
Grammar Tips:
Gerald says that children under the age of six cannot receive too much love and attention.
"subject cannot verb too much."- "something can never verb too much"
As far as Franklin is concerned he can't ever get too much sleep.
Ralph loves watching Jackie Chan movies; he can never get too much of the action.
Vocabulary Tips:
wrestle- 摔跤,絞力. wrestle with something -努力,解決,對付某個問題.
*For weeks, Sean has been wrestling with the decision of which school he should go to.
*The government is wrestling with the problem of unemployment.
dish out something-(口語用法)分發,給與. give out something.
*Tome loves to dish out advice that you don't need.
*Hilary dishes out criticism so easily that she often hurts the people around her.
*Bendy came from a deprived family, but that only motivated her to succeed.
deprived ( adj )貧窮的,被剝奪 .- deprive-剝奪,使喪失
*Sleep-deprived teenagers may have emotional problems. 缺少睡眠
devotion - 熱愛,関愛,專一devote (v)-專心致力於于某事. 對某個對專一用" ".
*Janet's devotion to acting made her character really touch the audience.
*His unselfish devotion to his pupils was greatly respected. 無私德熱誠...他的學生.
hunger for something -strong desire for something. hunger- (n )飢餓, (v)-渴望.
*Vivian hungers for attention, which explains why she acts out a lot in class.
*William hungers for his parents' approval.
tenderness-love, gentle, and care. 親切溫柔的
Even though she's gone, Nick will never forget his mother's tenderness.
Mandy always treats people with love and tenderness.
resiliency -彈性，此指“恢復的能力”。 resilience=resiliency
*Patrick has the resiliency to face frustrations at work.
*Kate was very ill, but she recovered because of her strong resilience.
bounce back-振作起來，重振旗鼓，重新站起（上），重新囘到。。bounce- 彈起來
*Alex bounced back from his breakup really quickly.
*Oil prices bounced back after a steep plunge.
simulate-模仿，摸凝。摩擬
*This computer program simulates a real driving situation.
*This training exercise is made to simulate what would happen during a fire.
spiritually- something to do with "faith".
scattered around - spare out around.
Chat Room:
parent figure- 像父母親般的人, 給與你多方面的照顧. parent -父親,母親. figure-人物.
guardian-法定上的監護人.
home away from home-提供一個像家一樣舒適的地方
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hugged, kissed, and loved on .......
love someone-愛某個人.
to love on someone -関愛某人.很口語,同常是指父母對孩子, 長輩對晚輩的關愛.
nurture-養育,也指"後天的(培育)"
nature- 自然，指"先天的（才智）
nature (n) /nurture (n) -先天的/後天的
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empty Nest-空巢
empty nest syndrome -空巢疹侯群 （感到孤單沮喪）
empty Nestor -空巢者
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